Not in Kona? Non-Konies survival guide.

Not in Kona for the IRonman

Not in Kona? Me either. Booo hisss.

Jealous much? YES. But in todays blog I thought we could celebrate the non-Konies.  Little things we can do this weekend to celebrate that we didn’t have to train for the race and then highlight the fact that we are NOT in Kona (but pretend we are – insert sigh).



1.  As non-Konies we can be grateful that we didn’t have to wake up on all those freezing mornings to ride for 6 hours. We got to enjoy a few sneaky sleep ins and casual 2 hour rides where more time was spent at coffee shops than on our bike.

2.  Lets be honest, based on #1 we are not really ready to prance around Kona in our bikinis or heaven forbid the undie run. But why not? Do it anyway!

3.  You know what, screw it, drink out of a pineapple. Surely you can find one. Let’s just pretend we are there anyway!

pineapple4.  This weekend, head to a café near you and enjoy an acai bowl. Pretend you are watching the water crashing on those iconic black Big Island rocks enjoying breakfast after you’ve just had a light jog and/or ocean swim. Take that Alli drive!

Photo credit = Kate (who is actually in Kona lapping up the acai bowls).
Photo credit = Kate (who is actually in Kona lapping up the acai bowls).

5. For your next swim session I want you to place swimming fish at the bottom of the pool so you can pretend you’re swimming off the pier. But don’t stop there, set up a small boat at the end of the lane with a little espresso cup. There you have it – the Kona coffee boat.


6.  Get ready for some serious downloading – Race day is approaching and will be streaming soon. Stock up your wifi or find out if your friends have unlimited data ….. maybe watch from their place?

ironman_logo7.  Go for a run WITHOUT sunscreen. Why? Because you can and you won’t get as fried as you would if you were in Kona.

8.  Become a has-been. Look over old photos. Screw it, share that sh*t on instagram. Live the old-dream and be proud. Remember one thing, the weather conditions will never be as hard as the year you did it*

Hardest. Year. Ever!  (not really)
Hardest. Year. Ever!
(not really)

9.  Walk down to your nearest bank branch (apparently they do still exist) and set up a Kona 2016 bank account. Rally up friends. Make a pact.   Being a jealous has-been is just too much. Time to go back

10.  Live vicariously through your friends, training buddies and the professionals. Pick the winners, pick the fastest from your AG, basically pick anything that might show that you know a little bit about this wonderful sport. It will improve your street credit.

Ok non-Konies, united we will be has-beens, wanna-bes and jealous little Ironchicks HOWEVER we will whole heartedly support and encourage everyone racing this weekend.  They’ve earned the place and I’m very excited to see so many of you achieve your dream!

Go get that medal …


…… and for us non-Konies – go get another drink!

Good luck all.

Catherine Thiele Ironman Ironchick triathlon
Cath xxx






* this is a know has-been fact.  Always the hardest year ever.



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